The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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