Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
