My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
