You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
