whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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