how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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