So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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