I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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