Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
