does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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