I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
