guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
