well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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