the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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