I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
this will be a night to untag.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
