is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize