I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
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SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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