We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is it penis luge time yet?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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