Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
