ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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