Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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