Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
