just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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