DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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