Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it because I queefed?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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