I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
