You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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