Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
