Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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