Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
