Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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