I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
