I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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