If i come over, it means nothing
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
