she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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