I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
