drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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