Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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