dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
