i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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