Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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