With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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