I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
