What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
