Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
