watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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