he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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