He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
