i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
