I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
