im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
