I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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