You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
