He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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