wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
wow bdsm is so cute
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
