I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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