The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
