There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
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