my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
