I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
