I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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