i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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