Sry I called you an 8
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
