Me. At least after what I've been through.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
