Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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