Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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