I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
