either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
