I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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