what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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