so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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