youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize