Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We just shotgunned beers for America
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
