I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He passed out mid-signature
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.