4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem