marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.