And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
