i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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